part 2

me: seeeeeee, invasion is not that bad, no need for the lights--don't ya know dick & buch control the sun so i'll just get in touch with them about the timing....i'm sure he will see it in the u.s. best interest....butt, if ya wanted me to kiss ya ass there's no need to bend over toooo far, i'm only 5'4" ...my degree is in mathematics but it's almost 5 o'clock here welll 3:40 close enuf and the budlights flowing....and i'm refusing to do that new-fangled math...dammit i'm from the south...the world revolves around me....where was i....oh yeah, the big holes....the universe knows we have enough idiots to fill .... i don't think your country is big enough...i might need to invade china, russia or some such other really large landmass........hmmmm second thought thanks for the compliment about the beautiful body...but i need more land.
cheers,
michelle
ps i get really typative when i drink
i meant dick & buSh
he replied:
I saw your second message first and thought, "Dick and bush? Is michelle still talking about nekkid photos?"
Anyway, does Bush have to bend over to make the sun shine. You know, because of where it shines out of?
Yes, it is true that China and Russia also have enormous tracts of land, however what you need to remember is that Australia only has a population of 20 million, and most of those live on the coast - so lots and lots of EMPTY space.
We're talking absolute prime moron disposal potential here.
Need I go on? I think not.

i replied:
okay, NOW i'm confuzzed.....do i invade or not? i had rationalized myself to leaving my sweet aussies alone and now you have made such a good argument FOR invasion....shit, now i'm gonna havta think. dammitta hell. it's 3:30 in the morn.....i'll reconsider after my first beer later this afternoon.....
and yeah, bush bends over but only with direct orders from dick
cheers,
michelle

him:
Yes. I mean NO. I mean sure. I mean.... stuff.
me:
hmmmmm.......
dear {name witheld}
after careful consideration i have decided, invasion would be a good/bad thing at this moment...spread the word to your friends and countrymen/women/roo's there is no need to be afraid, granny is/not invading tomorrow.
sincerely,
michelle/memachelle/granny
him: Dear Memachelle,
We thank you for your interest in our country. Unfortunately/fortunately we are not/are looking for an invading hoarde [ i have never hoarde., because i've never charged] at this time.
Sincerely/Bugger off
{and signed his name and aka's}
me:
well, i don't know what to tell ya, ben.....your alter ego has done a sufficiently good job in adequately muddling the point......i sit in my rocker on the porch [watching the rain fall] pondering the possibility of an invasion and wonder if it would be financially feasible to take you [australia] under my firm guidance and supervision ...... it's a beautiful spring day here with temps in the 70's [that 23 degrees for you stubborn types] and was told that the temp in your area was decidedly cooler at this time......therefore, since i am most definitely a warm weather, sun luving gal, i will wait until the weather warms up down under before i initiate my invasion.......and i'm going on holiday tomorrow and will be on the beach basking in the beautiful sun on the emerald coast of sunny florida.....
wishing you warm weather and smiles from mississippi your future beloved-leader,
her-holy-high-priestess-goddess-on-earth-that-has-blessed-the-mere-universe-with-her-royal-presence.......aka michelle/granny/mema
i think i need to shorten the title....i know it's too much for americans to get out --that's why i also answer to bitch...