new toys

my "new toys" came in today ... went to sears and picked them up ... brought them home .. put them together and cut grass ...

i love tools ... power -- manual -- brand new -- antique ... doesn't matter ... tools are for me what diamonds and jewelry are to most women ...

i salivate over tools ... tom knows that to perk me up ... take me to a home improvement store and let me browse and touch tools ... it's like a jolt of electricity ... but lately i haven't cared to play ... until i returned from the coast ... ordered a reel mower ... the old timey kind with no motor ... and a new weed-eater ... and set about to cutting the grass ... god do i feel so much better .

when i arrived in biloxi i began walking 4 times a day with ranger ... working up to 2 miles a walk ... lost 5 lbs before i left the resort ... and lost another 5 this week ... at this rate ... i'll be back into my smaller jeans before i turn 47 on the 1st of april ... yay!!

anyway back to the tools ... my love for creating is back ... even if it's just creating a neat well groomed lawn ..


back home

i never realized just how close i had come to a complete meltdown .... normally i can shrug off most any problem ... these last few months have shown me a weaker side to myself ... one with which i am not comfortable.

i had thought that i had a grip on the added stress of the last 18 months ... well more like 39 months ...just the last 18 have been particularly rough ... i could easily have gone back to the harder drugs to cope ... and that scared the hell out of me ... i never want to enter that abyss again ... i know -- this time -- i won't find my way out ...

how do we let our soul slide back ? back to that dark place ? that place that took all the willpower and soul to climb out of? how did i almost return there without realizing it?

if i had not gotten away from my life when i did ... i know -- i know that i would be using again ... how could i not see the danger? how could no one around me not see how far i had slipped? how close i was?




after 1.5 hours in the spa. ranger is so relaxed he's snoring.

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things that make ya go hmmmm?

what can I say? it made me smile. i reeaaahhlly needed a smile today. thanks to chris c. for the email.

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good day for baseball practice

catch mema

Jaxon is feeling leftout

got hung

gavin going over the gate

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more fur

mom came for a visit. asked how did ranger get hold of a goose. she was referring to all the "white stuff" all over the grass. nope mom it's not down. it's fur. just a few more days *says prayer - knocks on wood - crosses fingers*

-- post on the go from iphone

after blow dry

landed on floor--cleaned brush four times

who's serving who?

ranger (my service dog) is spoiled rotten. and this time if year I do more for him than he does for me. ; D

luv my dog

hate the shedding season

poor baby.

fur flying

just a few more days of *blow-out*. not sure i'm gonna hold up

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flying fur

just after bath and blow dry. this is what hit the floor. more was on the brush (cleaned 4 times during dry time) and on me. I had to shower after drying ranger

-- post on the go from iphone

just a few more days then shedding is done till next spring. * sigh *