so, what have you learned?

2010, the end of another decade..... what have you learned? will it help you in the coming years? or will you bog yourself down, once again, in the trivial?

i was born in 1962, an auspicious year. the world was changing-fast. and at the beginning of this decade, 17 july 2000, i choose to die.

1962 the year of the cuban missile crisis, with resulting embargo on imports from cuba, the u.n. passes a resolution condemning south africa's racist apartheid policies and the u.s. air force was investigating lasers to intercept missiles.

james meredith enrolled at ole miss. marily monroe was found dead, east german border guards shot peter fechter and left him to die on the berlin wall. k-mart, wal-mart opened their first stores, and the first u.s. rocket, ranger iv, lands on the moon.

the beatles record their first single, love me do, johnny carson debuts as the host of the tonight show, and the beverly hillbillies was on the telly .. with 90% of u.s. households owning a television set. the oral polio vaccine was given to millions of children, and the first use of silicon breast implants were used by houston surgeons .....

inventions were changing the world, the first telestar communication satellite was launched by the u.s.a... venus probe, the mariner 2, was the first planetary probe, and l.e.d. was being used for displays.

DJIA closed at 652... average income was $5,556, while a factory worker, with 3 dependents, was averaging a take home pay of $94.87/week. a new house averaged $12K, a car $3K, with eggs 32c/dozen and gas 28c/gallon.

and while all of that data is interesting, enlightening, and even amusing ....

what have i learned?

quite a bit, but not enough.... i've learned that the pursuit of happiness is exhausting... contentment is more fulfilling... true love is NOT the fluttery feeling in your stomach or your heart in your throat thinking of that certain someone .... it is standing firm in a commitment, it is being tolerant when you want to scream ... love is knowing that sometimes you give more ... and sometimes you take more .... and it's okay.

i've learned, i don't have to pursue perfection ... in mind nor body ... (my knees really wish i had learned that before becoming an aerobics instructor or running the bleachers for "fun", my shoulders wished i had learned that before pushing myself to climb a rope using only my arms) i just have to pursue improvement ... in small increments or huge bounds ... depending on my mood --- and sometimes -- improvement is going backwards ... improvement is remembering what it is to see wonder in this universe ... to look at life with fresh eyes, to see the mundane as a miracle ...that waking up each day -- is all that is required of me ... (learned that on 18 july 2000 but was unable to appreciate it until 2005 ... when i knew i had beaten my oxycontin addiction ... when i knew i was breathing because i wanted to, not because i promised tom i would)

i've learned that it doesn't matter if it's a small "white lie" or a big-ass-freakin' whopper of a lie, it's still a lie and will haunt me, sooner or later. i've learned that truth is easier to remember than a bunch of lies.... that an excuse is a human's way of explaining a fuck-up (learned this from my dogs, they never make excuses but show proper shame when reprimanded correctly) ... that if i live my life without excuses i seldom have to make an apology because i've thought thru my actions before i commit to the deed.

i've also learned that giving up is okay ... i cannot climb every mountain ... nor do i care to ... a bucket-list is a piece of crap, not worth the time to write it out... if you have to write down things you want to do before you die ... you've never lived to begin with so quit wasting time on what you want to do. for life really is too short ... i've learned that death is a Blessing, a Release., nothing to fear.

i've learned what i do in this plane of existence is worthwhile ... it is relevant, if for no other reason than for those i leave behind when i move on to the next level of existence.... and there is another place ... this i know ... i closed my eyes that day ... with the most wonderful peace i've ever felt, knowing i had made my peace with life, knowing that what i did was not wrong... knowing i was going to a better place ... a place of no pain, no sorrow ... and to be quite honest ... i was pissed when i woke up in the hospital ... pissed at the pain, pissed at the medical staff, pissed at my family, pissed at being brought back to this life... but that was a lesson that i needed to learn ... that there is more than what i see, that there is more to this existence than succeeding ... that living cannot be quantified (which blew my "logical" mind) i learned there is MORE.

i've learned that grandchildren are THE greatest gift from my Creator ... i see in them my past, the past of my loved ones, and i see the future ... despite what the naysayers and "end of time" people are saying ... the future is bright, as bright as the eyes of these precious children.

i've learned, there is so much more to learn ... life would be so boring if you and i thought alike ... that people are different for a reason, that we all can't agree, though each one of us may see the same event -- we each see our own truth ... but i can be tolerant -- just because you're wrong doesn't mean i can't be generous.

i've learned i can always find a reason to smile.. even if it's a smile because i'm breathing ...

day'umn i've been wordy today ... and it's not even 08:00... must get more coffee ...

happy new year ... may it be all you need to be content ... and may you find a reason to smile every day.


some holiday pics from my iphone, until Papa finds my camera cord for pc

Papa & Nolan, Christmas morn

Jaxon did NOT like the ROFL Monkey, kept kicking it whenever it got close.

Jax on his brand new big boy bed, nah, he wasn't impressed & has no intention of using it for more than an occasional nap.

Papa enjoying the new Jedi saber

my lil Prince Jaxon

a cell tower that was blown over in Brookhaven on Christmas Eve... i was to have taken the g-babes to my dad's for the evening, but wasn't about to get on the road with 4 children on such a night.

when Tom finds my cord that he "put in a safe place" i will download the photos that i had planned on giving the great-grandparents, aunts & uncles for Christmas ... maybe i'll get it done before July 4th, 2012



merry Christmas?!?

why i prefer not to say Merry Christmas in December but instead happy birthday in March/April, which astronomy has determined was when the star of David lead to the Savior.

this link gives a good summary of much i have read & gleaned over the last few years.

Christ, Constantine, & Sol Invictus

there is much to be garnered from this article, here is an excerpt:

"According to Persian traditions, the god Mithras was actually incarnated into the human form of the Saviour expected by Zarathustra. Mithras was born of Anahita, an immaculate virgin mother once worshipped as a fertility goddess before the hierarchical reformation. Anahita was said to have conceived the Saviour from the seed of Zarathustra preserved in the waters of Lake Hamun in the Persian province of Sistan. Mithra's ascension to heaven was said to have occurred in 208 B.C., 64 years after his birth. This birth took place in a cave or grotto, where shepherds attended him and regaled him with gifts, at the WINTER SOLSTICE."

so to those who wish me a merry Christmas .. i say "may you have the best year ever in the coming year."

i ask you not be so close minded that you think one is w/o faith if one doesn't say Merry Christmas, there is always more to the story if you open your heart & find tolerance & acceptance.



the season of giving? or why are you bitchin'?

everyone spends so much time pushing their own "stuff".  whatever happened to tolerance? ... yeah, i'm pretty much disillusioned with humans in general.  

this is a season of giving, of self, not material possessions. 

a season of sharing love & compassion, not bitching because someone doesn't greet you with the proper words.... 

yet all i see are people squabbling over possessions, words, health care, et al... 

as a race, we have forgotten that the ultimate gift is the gift of love. loving another as self.  caring for our fellow humans, wanting all to receive life, liberty, & a chance at happiness on this planet. 

when did tolerance, love, & compassion become "believe like me or shut the fuck up"??



what will the alps look like w/o ice?

deny climate change, hide your head in the sand, it will not change the facts..

"you are entitled to your own opinions, you are NOT entitled to your own facts!"
~Al Franken


snOMG, or, no i will NOT go sledding with you!

i have an aversion to massive quantities of snow ... i believe it all stems back to a sledding mishap i had as a child ... we lived at ft. bragg, north carolina for most of my childhood ... one day after a big snowfall (i believe it was 1970 and i was 8 years old) my friends and i were sledding ... mom called us in to warm up and i was to be the first on the sled when we came back outside ... the snow had iced over and i flew down the hill ... jumped the ramp ... and went to turn the sled ... the rudder was frozen ... couldn't turn ... i froze ... and didn't roll off the sled .... luckily ... a huge oak tree kept me from sliding further down the hill and flying across the pond ... it wasn't completely frozen ... the pond ... anyway ... i hit the oak head on ... literally, face to the bark .... thanks to the oak tree ... my face is lopsided ... my tooth is chipped ... but, i didn't get wet. and i am not tempted to sled anymore ... at least not in mississippi ....

evidence ... note the lop-sided nose (leaning to the left) and the chipped tooth on the right front.... .. the scars on my forehead (right between the brows) aren't as bad as they once were ... yep, i kissed a tree, and did NOT like it...

granny's scolding -- you're busted look


scars and lopsided face

chipped tooth

result of a disastrous sled outing. frozen rudder

Posted via Pixelpipe.


Afghanistan and the US troop withdrawal

please, tell me, what is so hard to understand about the POTUS message about Afghanistan?

extra troops go in, stabilize, then tell the government & residents, "it's now your baby, you rock it."

my problem lies with the last administration taking their eye off the ball by going into Iraq for reasons that were not above board. leaving the troops in Afghanistan to make do with what they had in the region. the last administration FAILED our troops that were deployed to that region.

if this strategy had been implemented eight years ago, this would be a moot point. as with any child in search of adulthood, you give the tools to make decisions, then you step back ... let them sink or swim ...

with this strategy it's not an immediate removal of all boots on the ground in one day, not even one month, but a gradual withdrawal that allows Afghanistan the chance to become a self-governing country.

can the Afghan's do this? i don't think so, that is why i felt we should get the hell out of clusterfuckistan instead of losing more troops to a cause that the people of that country will never be able to implement. but i am not the one in charge, and the current POTUS made the best of a hopeless situation by giving the people of Afghanistan a chance to govern without the Taliban dominating.


omg! sexting, breastfeeding, & idiotic issues

13-year-old Hope Witsell hanged herself after topless photos circulated

that link will take you to a tragic story ... tragic not because she took a photo of her breast ... tragic because of the way society reacted. [if your child, you, whatever is being bullied due to sexting. .. use this::

LINK BELOW "What Happened to Hope Witsell?" REMOVED BECAUSE SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS MAKING $$ OFF THEIR 'WORK' *SHEESH* [work is a four-letter word]

The Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works, Article 6bis(1), states:

    Independently of the author's economic rights, and even after the transfer of the said rights, the author shall have the right to claim authorship of the work and to object to any distortion, mutilation or other modification of, or other derogatory action in relation to, the said work, which would be PREJUDICIAL to his HONOR or REPUTATION.]

What happened to Hope Witsell? this link sums up much of my outrage ... at her parents, at the media, at society in general ...

there are so many in the country that see the body, especially the female breasts, as taboo ... be embarrassed, cover up, it's "naughty"

that is immature and wrong. even if Hope had NOT hanged herself, she would have grown up with the feeling that her body was bad, that sex and love were wrong. this was emphasized by her parents. the very one's that should have been giving her a positive response about her body, about herself ... instead they reinforced what the bully's at school were telling her "whore, slut, bad-girl" ... and thought they were "doing the right thing" by acknowledging the fundamentalist, puritanical standards of this warped, freedom-luvin' society we call the USA.

i post these photos for Hope, the child that died, and the hope of a more tolerant society...

and if this bothers you ... kiss right here.


12 Days of Christmas by C.A. Duffy

A seasonal verse by the new poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy, commissioned exclusively for Radio Times

a buzzard on a branch.

In Afghanistan,
no partridge, pear tree;
but my true love sent to me
a card from home.
I sat alone,
crouched in yellow dust,
and traced the grins of my kids
with my thumb.
Somewhere down the line,
for another father, husband,
brother, son, a bullet
with his name on.

that Shakespeare loved –
turr turr, turr turr –
endangered now
by herbicide,
the chopping down
of where they hide –
turr turr, turr turr –
hawthorn thickets,
hedgerows, woodland.
Summer's music
fainter, farther…
the spreading drought
of the Sahara.

un, deux, trois –
do not know
that French they are.

Three Welsh lambs –
un, dau, tri –
do not know
that Welsh they baa.

Newborn babies –
one, two, three –
only know
you human be.

Only know
you human be.

The Condor calls from the USA.
The Wood Stork calls from its wetlands.
The Albatross calls from the sea,
on the fourth day of Christmas.

The Yellow-eared Parrot is calling.
The Kakapo calls from NZ.
The Blue-throated Macaw is calling.
The Little Tern calls from Japan, calls
my true love sent to me.

The Corncrake is calling; the Osprey.
The Baikal Teal calls from Korea.
The Cuckoo is calling from England,
four calling birds.

bankers' profits fired in greed.

The second ring outshone the sun,
fuelled by carbon, doused by none.

Ring three was black gold, O for oil –
a serpent swallowing its tail.

The fourth ring was Celebrity;
Fool's Gold, winking on TV.

Ring five, religion's halo, slipped –
a blind for eyes or gag for lips.

With these five gold rings they you wed,
then slip them off when you are dead.

With these five go-o-o-old rings.

This goose laid Barack Obama.

I bought a magic goose from a friendly fellow.
This goose laid Fabio Capello.

I bought a magic goose from a maiden (comely).
This goose laid Joanna Lumley.

I bought a magic goose from a busker (poor).
This goose laid Anish Kapoor.

I bought a magic goose from a bargain bin, it
was the goose laid Alan Bennett.

I bought a poisoned goose from a crook (sick, whiffing).
This foul goose laid Nick Griffin.

of a broken heart, one half.

The Mersey Swans, flying
for Hillsborough, wings of justice.

Two, married and mute on the Thames,
watching The Wave.

A Swan for Adrian Mitchell
and a Swan for UA Fanthorpe,
swansongs for poetry.

The Queen's birds, paired
for life, beauty and truth.

Two milked voters to float her boat.
Three milked Parliament to flip her flat.
Four milked Government to snip her cat.
Five milked the dead for close-up tears.
Six milked the tax-payer for years and
years and years…
Seven milked the system to Botox her brow.
Eight milked herself – the selfish cow.

But the lady in the Detention Centre
does not dance.
But the honour killing lady does not dance.
But the drowned policeman's lady
does not dance.
But the lady in the filthy hospital ward
does not dance.
But the lady in Wootton Bassett does not dance.
But the gangmaster's lady does not dance.
But the lady with the pit bull terrier
does not dance.
But another dead soldier's lady
does not dance.

They sleep.

fir 'Royal Bank;
twa pipers each
fir Fred and Phil,
fir Finlay, Fraser, Frank.
Too big tae fail!
The wee dog laughed!
The dish ran awa' wi' the spoon…
We paid the bluddy pipers,
but we dinnae call the tune.

banging their warning?
On the twelfth day in Copenhagen
was global warming stopped in its tracks
by Brown and Barack and Hu Jintao,
by Meles Zenawi and Al Sabban,
by Yvo de Boer and Hedegaard?
Did they strike a match
or strike a bargain,
the politicos in Copenhagen?
Did they twiddle their thumbs?
Or hear the drums
and hear the drums
and hear the drums?


The Twelve Days of Christmas 2009 by Carol Ann Duffy appears in the bumper Christmas issue of Radio Times - find out more and order your copy online.


Radio Times


don't ya find it funny- in a sad not funny way

i am amazed at the number of people that have "awakened" to our liberties being taken away in the USA... like it just started in 2009.

these same people were probably supporters of the
seat-belt law, smoking ban, raising the legal drinking age to 21, Patriot Act, et. al. what i call "nanny laws" because others feel that adults are too stupid to make these decisions without laws.

now parents expect the government to regulate the media our children are exposed to via ratings ... because the parents don't want to be bothered with discovering what their children are being exposed to every day .. so "let the government do it"

some will say the USA has gone to hell in a hand-basket because we don't have
god** in school ... i say it's because parents are too fucking lazy to instill values, ethos, morality in their children at home, so "let the government do it"

i did not want my children and do not want my grandchildren taught by a government system what faith to follow--- that is a parental responsibility . each person has their own truth concerning faith, and that is the way it should be... not a government funded establishment teaching about our Creator.

when a citizenry allows a government to tell them how to live because it's "best for you." we lose liberty. yes, even the small inconsequential rights like choosing whether or not i will wear a
seat-belt. i began wearing one because it is smart, not because i am required by law.

** i use god with no capital letters because each person has their own god,.some it's power, sex, food, money, (ya get the picture?) for me there is my

p.s. this post is a rant in progress, i will add to it after another cup of coffee or two.


is it a "right"?

do i have the right to be treated humanely? do you have the right? what is it to treat another with decency? should i expect more for myself than i am willing to allow you? do i have the right to feel safe in my own home?

healthcare reform, troop surge, right to speak, party crashers.... all of these topics in the news go back to one simple idea...."where do my rights begin? where do yours end?"

do i have the right to expect better health care treatment [because my husband was in the right place at the right time to be hired by a company that offered insurance] than the citizen that works two or more part-time jobs, is above the poverty line. yet can't make enough $$ to afford adequate healthcare?

is that what USA is about? i have mine.... fuck you.

do i have the right to tell my neighbor what religion to practice? do i have the right to tell my neighbor what weapons to have in their house without expecting the same treatment from my neighbor?

for i believe that is what our former POTUS did in Iraq and now our current POTUS is about to ramp up in Afghanistan.

a firm believer in the best offense is a good defense ... a country should not expect to overpower another nation to force an idea that we are not willing to concede because it is our right ...

but then again, this is the USA, i got mine, and you are gonna get what i feel you "deserve"

what has our nation come to? when someone speaks an opinion different from yours they are labeled a kook, libtard, a right wingnut? granted there are quite a few idiots speaking their mind ... i could be one of them.

because the point of view is different--- is THAT a reason to dismiss it as insanity? whatever happened to intelligence? did it leave with common sense ? now i admit i do have a term i like to use for those that get their information from one general source (point of view) and refuse to see that there is more than one truth ... i call them "dittoheads" for that is what i hear ... the same pile of verbal diarrhea spit out verbatim as the next dittohead ... no thought, no reasoning, no comprehension of the damage that might occur because you refuse to think for yourself ...

yet in the good ole USA do as i say, not as i do.....

which brings me to the dittoheads that went uninvited to the POTUS's first state dinner.

... they should be ashamed & should be punished ... for simply entering where they were not invited ... for disregarding the first rule of humanity ... that we feel safe in our own home.


Location:E Railroad Ave,Wesson,United States