Drop Box

four of my fav guys

my 4-legged baby

he's as patient as the kids and grandkids when it comes to having his photo taken

secrets of men and women during successful relationships

my response to this article...Secrets Men Keep - Men Secrets - Redbook

bumped from march 2008

He stated he learned his "vital lesson" in the ninth grade. Women learn their lessons in the womb. I am able to post this with the knowledge my husband of 28 years will not see it--he hates technology. so don't burst his bubble in believing i am THE PERFECT WIFE. [ha]

Secret 1--we also fall in lust many times a day
Our peripheral vision is sooooo MUCH better and you never know because you are too busy TRYING to be sly about your lack of control.

Secret 2--you golf, fish, hunt--we actually watch soaps, do lunch with friends - you get the pic - to get away from you
I love to fish and to golf--but can't get away from men when I do these activities. Females instinctively know males will not like tea parties or playing with baby dolls at an extremely young age. It is only natural that this expands as we get older. Soaps are stupid, and lunch with friends is boring - most of the time it's just bitches bitchin' about men - most of the time.

Secret 3--we're unnerved by the notion of commitment
No shit Sherlock, who isn't? I mean come on - any one who is not frightened by a thirty year mortgage is planning on skipping out in two years.

Secret 4--earning money makes us feel important
Of course this is true, we just don't mind spending yours with reckless abandon.

Secret 5--women do enjoy fixing things around the house-
BUT it emasculates when we do fix things quite well without a man's help. My son brought home a table saw, jig saw, router, and a few other wonderful tools for him and his dad to use. They sat the tools up and for 2 months the tools remained with the cover and tags still in place. I got out there and began playing with these fantastic devices, making shelves, laying molding that had been sitting around since 1998-this was 2006- and just having a great time. Home Depot had become my new fantasy store. Well, after 6 months I woke up to find all the wonderful tools had been taken apart and hidden from my view. It seems I broke THE cardinal rule - don't let men know you like power tools. It emasculates men--even your offspring.

Secret 6--we know you will become your father--
that's why it's important to like your father-in-law.

Secret 7--every year we love you more
Do you really think after 30 years in a relationship I still enjoy playing 'cheerleader' to your 'hero'--come on it's just the garbage you're taking to the road.

Secret 8--we really don't understand what you're talking about and don't care to learn--
we're just better actors Do you really believe I am enthralled about the touchdown reception you made in 1970 during a high school playoff game, or even about the great shot on the 17th green, better yet, why do I care which tree the deer came from behind when you can't remember what isle the coffee is on at WalMart?

Secret 9--we are terrified when you drive
I don't bite my nails because they taste good.

Secret 10--we'll always wish we were 34 again
Well for women it's 34, men always finish first. 34 is a good age, all body parts are still in place and you believe you have a firm grip on the world

Secret 11 -- give an inch, we'll give a lifetime of commitment ...
ok, i want more than an inch ;)

secrets to a successful relationships... or how to train a puppy

(i was in victoria's secret yesterday and the sales associate was commenting on how well-behaved Ranger was and her dog would not listen... i told her a little secret i learned many years ago ... i originally posted this on stumbleupon a few years ago ... have changed the ages to current time.)

 

does anyone recall the title of an old Sandra Dee film about newlyweds?  well i found it , When a Man Answers   little Sandra was having trouble adjusting to the fact that the "boyfriend/fiance" , who obeyed every wish as though it were a command, had turned into a "husband", who seemed tone deaf to her tone.

her wise mother gave her a little book, that when followed, would have her partner eating out of her hand once again as a dutiful partner should.

two points stuck in my young mind the first time i saw this training film:

1--positively reward the 'good' behavior you wish to see repeated.

many times all it takes is a scratch behind the ear, or a sweet innocent pat on the head.

2-- when 'bad' behavior occurs--immediately scold offender JUST ONCE for use of the bad behavior; and then completely ignore offender for a short time. [if the offender is ignored for too long, he will seek attention from another trainer]

REPEAT AFTER ME: only scold ONCE, NAGGING IS NOT AN OPTION

you want the trainee to know that when this type of behavior occurs, he will not receive your love and affection.


--the book was "How to Train Your New Puppy"

I have had one husband and many dogs during my 48 years of life. no matter how wonderful and cute they are to begin with, all must be handled with TLC and consistent, proper handling to ensure a lifetime of well-behaved, domestic bliss.

the dogs have always been so much easier to housebreak.

hubby dear, at the tender age of 56, is STILL a work in progress.

please, if you are californiacrazy stay outta m'sippi

went to wally world today ... didn't want to but needed some things that i could only get there ... (beef jerky by the pound for ranger, but that was just one of the many) anyway ... got there, parked, got out, did what i had to do ... loaded my stuff, loaded ranger, got in, let the windows down, sunroof open and buckled up and looked behind me and started backing out ...

heard the rear backup do-ditty beep, put my foot on the brake....that's where the screeching began ... a woman with a grocery cart started shouting...

"you almost hit my child!!!"

did i hit your child?

"no, but you almost did."

i'm sorry, you need to hold his hand in a busy parking lot like this (was a kid of about 2 in the cart and one about 4 beside her)

she called me a bitch and told me to watch where i was going.... i got out to see if all were ok ... she was still shouting, got her phone out to call the police... i told her call the police but there's not a lot they can do in a private parking lot when nothing happened. went and got back in the car, pulled back into my space to await the police arrival.

she got the police and was still screaming into the phone... i got out to give her my name ...

"get away from me" again, with the screaming and screeching.

got about a buggy's length from her and told her my name, she told me to back out of her space ... i did not know that 4 feet from a person was considered invading personal space ... whatever.

manager had come outside at this time ... still screaming she gave her story ... i told him that as far as i knew everyone was okay except for the hysterics.

before the police got there i told her it would be wise if she got her cart (with the two yo) and her other child out of the driving area ...

she started screeching AGAIN.

when the officer arrived, she shouted her story ... he took her name and asked me what happened ... weird woman interrupted ... with shouting ... he told her to go shopping ...

she started shouting that we were prejudiced against her because she was from california ... seriously??? we had no idea where she was FROM ... maybe the loony bin .. but other than that she looked like any other nitwit... oh yeah, she was white, i'm a mutt, and the cop was black. and as she was leaving she started with derogatory statements about my disability.

after she left, we (manager, and then i) told the officer what had occurred ...

going in the morning before my dr's appointment to files charges for profanity, harassment, and i REAAHHLLY wish there was a law against stupid.

136 photos taken

and i got one where they were all smiling!!! YAY mema!!!! (and mama, and papa, and ranger)

From 2010 04

get the fuck outta my way

and i say this with only concern for your well-being ... the last two days i have chopped the end off my middle finger, left hand ... burned middle and ring finger right hand ... and at the baseball game a bug flew in my right eye... somehow my contact ripped and my eye is scratched.

so i'm typing this seven fingered and one-eyed ....i am the walking wounded looking for a place to have the next accident.

*mema has a boo-boo finger

no, really, i cut the tip off slicing veggies yesterday, 

need some super glue, 

day'umn thing won't stop bleeding.*

sadly, i did all the above stone-cold sober ... i intend to remedy the situation ... wish i could get falling down drunk ... but a wasted youth and fantastic "can't really get drunk but will dance on tables after three drinks" genetic makeup will not let me get sot-faced.

oh well.... cheers ... and get the fuck outta my way ... really ... you could get hurt in my unintentional bout of self-mutilation.

maybe the next time

i despise that helpless feeling that comes with being human ... this feeling that nothing i do will make anything 'right' .... my dog doesn't seem to get this feeling... i'm getting a bit disgusted with this human condition that requires paperwork ... lots of paperwork to show that such and such was bought and owned before the fire, that $$ were spent on travel, lodging, fuel .... to prove that living happened ...

oh, well... maybe in the next life i get to be a dog, a big dog owned by a retired southern woman with a penchant for djarums, budlight, bourbon, and foul language.