advice on raisin' those babies

wrote this in 22.05.2008, but some of my mf'ahs are having lil' chaps of their own so i'm bringing it to the front once again.

i have noticed a lot of people that have young kids or new kids or soon-to-be around kids here...to those that "have" -- where do ya find the time? and to those "about-to-have"...go ahead and give it up now....

i started out to share a bit of advice my great-grandmother gave me when she found out i was making her a great to the second power grandmother....here goes:

1] take lots of pictures....hang them on the wall---when these precious angels become teenagers it will help control the urge to knock the shit out of them [her words-not mine, although they have become mine]

2] never say never---your babes will always bring ya to your knees....to clean their scrapes, to pray for their safety, or in humility -- 'cause the little shits did just what you swore to your know-it-all mother(in-law) ;
"my children will NEVER be allowed to DO THAT!"

3] never swat a fly above your head on the screen porch with your mouth open---- i don't know what this one has to do with children---except maybe keep the flyswat handy.... or as my oldest, ty, referred to it ----- a ty-swatter---- for killing a fly is legal and a great way to release anger, either way they are very wise words - as i found out later in life.....the damnable little flying bastards pop straight back towards my face.......so may i also add, don't swat a fly above your head on the screen porch with your mouth open or a low cut blouse on....

with love to all those with children under the age of 25.....remember it ain't an empty nest till they are out of the house for AT LEAST 5 years.