to pee standing up

when valorie was a toddler, she wanted to pee standing up, just like her big brother and uncle brad (both were 2 and 1/2 years older than valorie) ... trying to explain to a two year old that peeing standing up wasn't all that great was difficult when she saw the guys peeing on a tree and then go back to playing while she had to stop playing and go inside for a potty break ....

when she got older, i told her this story, the same story my great-grandmother told me when i was old enough to appreciate the fullness of being a female..

god was passing out his gifts to adam and eve and came to the last two in his bag ... he pulled out the ability to pee standing up ... adam jumped up and down with joy, "oh, memememememem, if i could pee standing up then the creatures of earth wouldn't make fun of me any more .... ohohoh please, please, let me have that gift."

eve looked at god and said, "go ahead, it looks like this would just make his day... i'll take what is left in the bag."

so adam received the ability to pee standing up.

god reached into the bag and said, "well, this is the last gift i have to offer you my children, and eve ... the ability for multiple orgasms is now yours."

so now you know what a woman is saying when you hear "praise the lord"