to pee standing up

when valorie was a toddler, she wanted to pee standing up, just like her big brother and uncle brad (both were 2 and 1/2 years older than valorie) ... trying to explain to a two year old that peeing standing up wasn't all that great was difficult when she saw the guys peeing on a tree and then go back to playing while she had to stop playing and go inside for a potty break ....

when she got older, i told her this story, the same story my great-grandmother told me when i was old enough to appreciate the fullness of being a female..

god was passing out his gifts to adam and eve and came to the last two in his bag ... he pulled out the ability to pee standing up ... adam jumped up and down with joy, "oh, memememememem, if i could pee standing up then the creatures of earth wouldn't make fun of me any more .... ohohoh please, please, let me have that gift."

eve looked at god and said, "go ahead, it looks like this would just make his day... i'll take what is left in the bag."

so adam received the ability to pee standing up.

god reached into the bag and said, "well, this is the last gift i have to offer you my children, and eve ... the ability for multiple orgasms is now yours."

so now you know what a woman is saying when you hear "praise the lord"


;D

17 July 2000 ~ the day i chose to die ...

there was a time, when i decided .... i was through with life ... the joy and the sorrow, the pleasure and the pain, the light and the dark ...as you probably guessed, i failed at this endeavor also ...

i did NOT make the decision without a lot of thought ... in '93-'94, i was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis ... then on 04 March 1999 i was injured, my right hip was forever weakened... the sciatic nerve was irreversibly scarred causing pain that is present to this day, which is why i use a canadian-crutch and a service animal. ... never sure when my leg will give out and i hit the ground ... searing pain followed by complete loss of the right leg ... not a feeling one ever becomes accustomed to no matter how many times a day i kiss dirt.

i was taking oxycontin for the pain of RA and the sciatic nerve .... my dosage was not working anymore, and i saw no reason to continue living... i was a physical, financial, and emotional drain on my family and i knew they would be better off if i was no longer in this existence ...

on 17 July 2000 at 15:00 CDST i took a bottle of wine and a bottle of muscle relaxers and lay down ...

i have NEVER known such peace as i did that day, knowing that it was over .... or so i thought, Tom found me, took me to the ER and i spent a few days there followed by a week in "lock-down" in the nut-ward at St Dominics in Jackson.... when they put me with gen pop, .... sheeeezzzz ...

there i learned:
1) most psychiatrists haven't a clue about life;
2) the psych aides know even less;
3) people, there are some fuktarded NUTJOBS on this planet ... and most are doing it just to get a government check.

i told the doc's what they wanted to hear, and got out after a week.

but it took 4.5 years before i knew i was over the oxy addiction and past the depression ... not easy on anyone ... especially my family ... once again, i was hurting the one's i was trying to spare ...

Why me Lord, what have I ever done
To deserve even one
Of the pleasures I've known?
Tell me Lord, what did I ever do
That was worth lovin' you
Or the kindness you've shown?
Lord help me Jesus,
I've wasted it so
Help me Jesus I know what I am

But now that I know that
I've needed you so Help me Jesus,
my soul's in your hand.

Try me Lord,
if you think there's a way
I can try to repay
All I've taken from you.
Maybe Lord,
I can show someone else
What I've been through myself
On my way back to you.

words ~Kris Kristofferson

someday never comes

how many times have you said, "not today ... but, someday, i will"???

"i don't know enough, i'm not good enough, when i'm in better shape, when i know what to expect"

soon, too soon, all your "somedays" are gone.

you wake up and realize, you've "someday-ed" your life away.


First thing I remember was asking papa why
For there were many things I didn't know.
And daddy always smiled and took me by the hand
Saying someday you'll understand.

Well I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son
That you better learn it fast you better learn it young
'Cause someday never comes.

Well time and tears went by and I collected dust.
For there were many things I didn't know.
When daddy went away, he said, try to be a man,
And someday you'll understand.

Well, I'm here...
And then one day in April, I wasn't even there,
For there were many things I didn't know.
A son was born to me. Mama held his hand,
sayin' someday you'll understand.

Well, I'm here...
Think it was September, the year I went away,
For there were many things I didn't know.
And still I see him standing tryin' to be a man,
I said, someday you'll understand.

Well, I'm here to tell you now, each and every mother's son,
That you better learn it fast, you better learn it young,
'Cause someday never comes.

lyrics ~ creedence clearwater revival

lazy sunday

i adore days like these, house is empty...light rain falling... just me & a good book (& ranger, ocassionally Tom.)

*le sigh*




yes, that is a "granny" house dress, i'm old & have earned the RIGHT to wear one all day.


-- it's summer, no time for the pc/laptop -- so using the iphone

Lake Lincoln, Mississippi

 

Ranger, Michelle (me), Jaxon ... just woke up ... and we wouldn't let him chase the ducks into the water.