never kiss a monkey or send me chain emails

this is what i send to those that forward those day'umnable group emails ... hate that .. soooo much ...

flashback mar 01, 2008 --

this was sent to me in an email - with the caption "never kiss a monkey" -- [my thought "what would possess me to want to kiss a monkey?] ...i had posted this a few months ago but couldn't find it when i looked to send to a friend.

after laughing i came to the realization that if humans could do this we as a race would be extinct......to find out why there are still baby monkeys populating the earth i asked my grandson.....[didn't tell him why i have this question, my perversions have not progressed that far yet]---he just has all the right answers....like why the sky's blue....his words, "because i looked at it and it was."

so -- here's the answer to why ? [about the monkeys]
well, i now know why monkeys are not extinct. [refer to the picture of 'lucky monkey'] when my g-bb's came to visit i posed the q of "why are there baby monkey's?" to Gavin,4. considering the fact that monkeys can pleasure themselves manually and orally,i knew humans would be extinct if we had these abilities.[now i'm not deranged enough (yet) to bring this part of my thought process to the attention of my g-son.]
he gazed at me with a wise,pitying look and said,"Mema, baby monkeys are sooooo keeeewwwt." as the big brother to a 3month old, he turned from me and mumbled with exasperation, "wish Mom had had a monkey, or at least a puppy."

are you smilin.?

are you smilin' yet???
bumped from 28 august 2008:

i was talking to a friend, not an mf'ah on line, but someone at my kitchen table, and we were discussing masturbation, and she was raised to believe it was a sin .... i tried to explain my theory on the subject, my spiritual-biology, or as an mf'ah said bio-fisiology, either are good ... here it is, if you believe in the fact of god and religion and humans are created in the spirit of their creator ... our soul is not limited to this physical form, but is something more electrical, ethereal, our body operates as an electrical system, and electricity can only be diverted not stopped ... it will reform in another connection .... now, the bodies nervous system operates on electrical impulses being fired between the synapses, thus thoughts, feelings, free choices are made .... when this electricity is stopped in the body all systems cease to function ... where does that electricity (spirit) go?
i say it goes to operate in another dimension ... as my spirit; you say whatever makes you feel better about dying. but back to masturbation ... feelings are electrical impulses and anything not taken to excess is not a fatal sin ... unless you do listen to religious dogma ... then you must confess and tithe or you will burn in hell .... aaaahhhll this got me to thinking of the *seven deadly sins* (note the date when it was conceived -- the church needed money - with this new religion and all starting to flourish)
i looked at these sins [which are really only aggressions against mankind] -- these things that the christian religion says you cannot be forgiven of and through a george carlin based process of elimination i have come to the conclusion that there is only one true aggression against mankind : gluttony --- over-indulgence in any part of a human's choice to relax or unwind --- eating, sex, laziness, hunger for money, blatant deception, greed [greed is the selfish desire for or pursuit of money, wealth, power, food, or other possessions, especially when this denies the same goods to others]
so in other words, after seeking enlightenment from many of the world's religions over the course of my life, i realize there is only one thing that we human's should really be aware of --- refraining from gluttony to the point of obsession that denies the rights of your fellow humans .... but i haven't really seen anything in all my searching that says we should limit our consumption of living, loving, and laughing -- and masturbation should allow you to fully enjoy all three of those to the utmost degree. so i'm ready to ascend to the throne as Your-Bikini-Clad-Empress, before i begin my world-domination-tour in 2009

Pope Gregory the Great (d. 604) described Seven Deadly Sins in his Moralia in Job.